Top 10 Tuesday - Favorite Comedies

This list was way harder than I originally thought. It started out with 23 movies (would have been more if I'd included animated to begin with), so I had to start imposing rules. First, it had to be a flat-out comedy that couldn't be labeled as anything else (which left out "A Christmas Story", "Evil Dead 2", and the Ocean's movies...I will admit a couple of these still blur the line). Second, it had to be a movie I quote fairly often (which dropped out "Beetlejuice", "It's Complicated", and "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"). After that I just had to do the hard process of elimination so that only 10 were left. I'll list a few of the movies that didn't make it at the end as honorable mentions.

This time I'm not going to write a big thing of why each one is funny. Funny is a subjective thing. How else do you explain 3 "Hangover" movies? They aren't that funny. Especially when compared to the ones on this list. I decided I will stick to a sentence of why I love it and then 3 of my favorite quotes.

Hit it!

10. His Girl Friday

This film holds the record for most words per minute in a movie (at 240) and every one of those minutes is intelligent and witty beyond belief.

Hildy Johnson: [speaking of her fiance] He treats me like a woman.
Walter Burns: Oh he does, does he? Mm-hm... how did I treat you? Like a water buffalo?

Bruce Baldwin: [Concerning Walter] I like him; he's got a lot of charm.
Hildy Johnson: Well he comes by it naturally his grandfather was a snake.

Hildy Johnson: Walter, you're wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.

9. So I Married An Axe Murderer

Mike Meyers hits on all cylinders in this under appreciated gem that I think is way better than his "Austin Powers" movies (which I like also btw).

Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.


John Johnson: My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me Vicki.

Charlie Mackenzie: Come, let us dance like children of the night!

8. Burn After Reading

I love Coen Brothers movies and they're all hilarious (except for a couple of really serious ones), but I couldn't stop laughing especially at Brad Pitt (who I think is a great comedic actor, not so much for drama).


CIA Officer: We'll... interface with the FBI on this dead body.
CIA Superior: No, no. God no. We don't need those idiots fucking everything up. Burn the body. Get rid of it.

Chad Feldheimer: [on the phone] Osbourne Cox? I thought you might be worried... about the security... of your shit. 

Chad Feldheimer: Manolo, you DIDN'T find this.
Manolo: I found it on the floor there.
Chad Feldheimer: Yeah, I know. But...
Manolo: Right there on the floor there. Just lying there.


 7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

 
Solidified the return of both Val Kilmer and RDJ and proved just how sarcastic and dry they could be.

Harry: Still gay?
"Gay" Perry: Me? No. I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it.

Harry: Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times.

Harmony: Well, for starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had a hot meal.
Harry: Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck and then she skipped lunch.

6. Mallrats

Hands down the most quotable Kevin Smith film. I don't care if you like "Clerks" more, this one makes me laugh so hard.

Brodie: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega.

Jay: Come son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod! Snootchie-bootchies. Ehehehehe

Willam Black: Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat. 

5. Snatch

Solidifies Brad Pitt as a legendary comedic actor.

Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again? 

Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from, eh?

Mickey: Why the fuck do I want a caravan that's got no fucking wheels?

4. The Princess Bride

 The perfect blend of action, romance, fantasy, and lines that are just funny as hell.

Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Miracle Max: Get back, witch.
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more.

3. Empire Records

 I know it isn't a polished movie with the greatest acting or directing, but I can quote this one all day long!

A.J.: Mark, listening to this crap is guaranteed to make you sterile.
Mark: [under his breath] Maybe I want to be sterile.

Gina: Well "Sinead O'Rebellion." Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior. 

Warren: Why don't you go shove 'em up your ass?
Lucas: ...Because it would hurt a lot, Warren.

2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The grandfathers of modern comedy at their peak (and watch for the cat being swung against the wall in the background of any "town" scene).

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. 

King Arthur: Run away!

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.

 And drum roll please...

1. Blazing Saddles

If you've never seen it, you need to go find it right now. The most politically incorrect, but hilariously funny movie of all time. Oh and Madeline Kahn was a damn genius.


Lili Von Shtupp: A wed wose. How womantic.

Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

Bart: Hey, where the white women at?

Honorable Mentions

Clue, Mrs. Doubtfire, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Ferris Beuller's Day Off, The Thin Man, The Ladykillers, Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs...

Multi-Plex Conundrum or Why Do I Pay So Much For Concessions?

Friday at my viewing of "Evil Dead" I did something I haven't done in a while. I bought a Coke at the concession stand, not because I wanted to, but because I had a free popcorn coupon from CineMode (ask me if you don't know what that is). It didn't require me to buy the soda to get it, but I felt guilty for not buying something and just going up for my free popcorn. Then I realized the genius of offering the free popcorn. It gets people to buy concessions that normally wouldn't and probably gets people who would normally buy concessions to buy more than they normally would because of the "deal" they got.

Then I noticed all the people coming in with their own buckets and cups. Part of the deal where you pay a little extra for the bucket and cup then get discounted refills for the rest of this year. What does this do? Makes you get a soda and popcorn every time you come to the theater. It might even make you come to the theater a little more often to get your money's worth out of that offer. So aren't their margins reduced every time you come in for your "discount". Nope. The cup or bucket cost way more than the drink or popcorn you put into it and you've already paid the initial upcharge that covers that cost. Popcorn and soda are literally made for pennies, so maybe they "lose" 10 cents per refill after the first couple of times you use it (which after that, most people will forget they had them or forget to bring them), but that's still $2.90 in margin for each container that they might not have gotten before.
 

Don't they make a fortune from ticket sales?

Short answer is no. I'm gonna over simplify so you get the picture. See, the way the contracts between the studios, distributors, and theaters are structured so that about 95% of what is made in ticket sales the first week goes up the food chain and doesn't stay with the theater (this is through payment to actually show the movie and actual percentages of ticket sales that go to the studio/distributor). Then each week it gets reduced by approximately 5% (these numbers aren't exactly hard numbers and change per contract) so that the theater gets more. Now the first week the sheer volume of tickets usually grants the theater enough money to cover the cost of the overhead (like electricity and labor) for a particular movie, but the 2nd week usually ends up being a loss because of how drastically the volume of tickets drops on most movies. The 3rd week the theater will generally turn a bit of profit (that might offset week 2's loses) and by the 4th they might actually get to see a bottom-line profit (although it may not cover all the other overhead like rent and advertising).

Can't they do something else besides upping concessions?

They try. Corporate companies can rent out the theater for events (which rarely happens in most areas), you can have birthday parties at most venues, there's the "arcade", and companies pay for screen time before the movie starts. This is all well and good, but again, mostly pays for overhead. Plus, you can't guarantee any of these things other than the pre-movie advertising, so mostly those are just icing on the cake.


What about that 3-D Surcharge?

Despite what you think, the theater doesn't really profit from that. In fact, it may end up costing the theater more than a regular movie might. You see, you're not buying those glasses like you think you are. The studios pay for those. That's why you should recycle them at the end of the movie. You're gonna have to pay that surcharge no matter what. The surcharge goes towards paying off that expensive projector that they had to install to show 3-D and the maintenance on said projector. So why would the studios push 3-D if they're paying for those glasses? It is 2-fold: since the contracts are based on percentages and since the surcharge counts as part of the ticket they get a bigger chunk of money for each viewing. It also inflates the yearly gross numbers which makes business look better than it really is (which makes people head to the movies more because of mob mentality).

Let's break down "Avatar" a bit in a little bit of a thought exercise to show how 3-D can inflate box office numbers (numbers are from Box Office Mojo). Domestically "Avatar" brought in $760, 507,625 and the estimated number of tickets sold was 97,255,300. Let's say that only 1/2 of those tickets were in 3-D (I'd say the majority of people saw it in 3-D so this is probably a low estimate). So divide the tickets by 2 which gives us 48,627,650 3-D tickets with a low estimate surcharge of $3 (it's more like $5 in some areas). So 48,627,650 times $3 equals $145,882,950 added to the box office take. Even if you reduce the 3-D tickets to 1/3, you still end up with $97,255,300 added. And these are pretty low estimates. If half the ticket sales were 3-D, almost 20% of the box office was in the surcharge. Take that out and it doesn't seem quite as big of a juggernaut. With that, they can promote "Avatar" using the press without paying for it by talking how many records it is breaking, adding to ticket sales. Without all this, it might not have surpassed "The Dark Knight" from the year before and "Avatar" still isn't bigger than "Gone With the Wind" when adjusted for inflation

Sorry about all of those numbers. Hope you were able to follow.

So what does it all mean? Well, nothing is gonna change anytime soon. Costs of movie making continue to balloon and the studios need to recoup what they put in and theaters are a business so they need to make sure they add to their bottom line. That's just the world we live in.

Hopefully this gave you a little insight into how the business of a movie theater works and why concessions are the price they are. 

Freaky Friday - Evil Dead

I don't think I've ever reviewed a movie on here the day it came out partly because it's a rare occasion anymore when I see a movie on day one and I also like to ruminate for a few days before I come to a definite conclusion. Not so today.

Summary courtesy of IMDB:

"Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods. The evil presence possesses them until only one is left to fight for survival." 

Evil Dead (2013)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1288558/?ref_=sr_1

Technical (4.5) - After you see the first 10 minutes of this "remake" you'll realize this isn't "The Evil Dead" you remember, but that's a good thing. This one falls somewhere in between the "Psycho" and "Fright Night" remakes as far as what comes along from the source material. It isn't a shot for shot remake and it doesn't throw the whole thing in the garbage and begin again with just character names. In fact, none of the character names are the same, just there will be some similarities that are slightly skewed for a modern audience, but more on that in a minute. Let's talk about the visuals instead. As one of the friends I went to see this pointed out, when special effects are done in-camera and done well they have a much more visceral effect. Horror movies should only use cgi as a last resort because you can always tell and it removes you from the movie. I'm happy to report that this movie uses it so sparingly you might swear it has none at all (we argued a bit over one scene, I still say it was cgi), These actors must have gone through some hell and for a first time director, Fede Alvarez did a wonderful job drawing you in and ratcheting up the tension slowly but surely through the whole film. You can definitely see traces of the original and I even saw several elements of
"The Exorcist" which actually added greatly to the movie. I had to deduct a half point for editing out one scene they're using a bunch in the promos (that I really thought was eerie) and a few continuity errors I noticed. Nothing as glaring as in the original, but still.

Script/Dialogue (4.5) - Anyone heading into this expecting the dark comedy of "Evil Dead II" might be sorely disappointed (two people in front of us left during the movie, guys no less), but I wanted a flat out horror movie and got one. It wasn't necessarily scary per se, so the tag line in the poster above isn't quite accurate, but it was an enjoyable ride none-the-less. They started by changing the main plot device of why they are there from a fun weekend in the woods to helping a friend detox which adds more reality to the proceedings and instead of casting someone as Ash, they kind of chopped his character up and distributed him between a few of the characters. The Necronomicon plays a bigger part too as it not only begins the whole fiasco, it helps drive the whole movie along with several references back to it. The dialogue isn't particularly groundbreaking and a couple of the characters might as well have "deadite fodder" tattooed on their heads from the start since we get no real character development from them, but this is a damn horror movie, not "Gone With the Wind". I don't expect a whole lot there. It serves its purpose: to get us from one dead person to another. There's an odd plot point involving the dog (which always irritates me when they use a pet like that) that actually ends up tying in at the endgame which was a nice touch. There are also just a couple of kinda cheesy lines towards the end that I rolled my eyes at, hence the half point.

Acting (4) - Again, this is a horror movie, so I'm not expecting "King Lear" here. Jane Levy shines as Mia who they've brought to the cabin to kick her heroin habit. She's really good here. I didn't quite think she had it in her from watching "Subugatory" (which I love for being live action "Daria"), but this girl can scream with the best of them and has this wide-eyed look of fear that will give you chills. Easily the best of the bunch. Everyone else is passable. Lou Taylor Pucci is Eric who has the look of the "stoner", but ends up having the "geek" trait too from these types of movies. He stands out to me as the most wooden of the performances. Shiloh Fernandez plays Mia's brother David and to be honest stands out just as too much of a pretty boy for this kind of movie. He's not bad in the role, he just doesn't connect to you emotionally as he should for a couple of the scenes. Would have been a 3 except for how good Levy is. Elevates the whole movie.

Tilt (5) - I loved it. Didn't have much expectations going in and ended up blown away. It was derivative of the original while at the same time being very imaginative and pushing all sorts of buttons where you will squirm and suck in breath. I actually said "OUCH!" out loud several times. Like I said, not really scary in an "Exorcist" kind of way, but not the torture porn that "Saw" movies became either. Don't be surprised if  Alvarez (and maybe Levy too) gets asked to direct an "Exorcist" remake. I hope that never happens, though, it's an untouchable movie for me. Just be sure to stay past the credits if you're an original "Evil Dead" fan. I promise you'll love it. Otherwise, you'll probably be confused.

Total Score - (4.5)