Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Top 10 Tuesday - Favorite Comedies

This list was way harder than I originally thought. It started out with 23 movies (would have been more if I'd included animated to begin with), so I had to start imposing rules. First, it had to be a flat-out comedy that couldn't be labeled as anything else (which left out "A Christmas Story", "Evil Dead 2", and the Ocean's movies...I will admit a couple of these still blur the line). Second, it had to be a movie I quote fairly often (which dropped out "Beetlejuice", "It's Complicated", and "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"). After that I just had to do the hard process of elimination so that only 10 were left. I'll list a few of the movies that didn't make it at the end as honorable mentions.

This time I'm not going to write a big thing of why each one is funny. Funny is a subjective thing. How else do you explain 3 "Hangover" movies? They aren't that funny. Especially when compared to the ones on this list. I decided I will stick to a sentence of why I love it and then 3 of my favorite quotes.

Hit it!

10. His Girl Friday


This film holds the record for most words per minute in a movie (at 240) and every one of those minutes is intelligent and witty beyond belief.

Hildy Johnson: [speaking of her fiance] He treats me like a woman.
Walter Burns: Oh he does, does he? Mm-hm... how did I treat you? Like a water buffalo?

Bruce Baldwin: [Concerning Walter] I like him; he's got a lot of charm.
Hildy Johnson: Well he comes by it naturally his grandfather was a snake.

Hildy Johnson: Walter, you're wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.

9. So I Married An Axe Murderer



Mike Meyers hits on all cylinders in this under appreciated gem that I think is way better than his "Austin Powers" movies (which I like also btw).

Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.


John Johnson: My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me Vicki.

Charlie Mackenzie: Come, let us dance like children of the night!

8. Burn After Reading



I love Coen Brothers movies and they're all hilarious (except for a couple of really serious ones), but I couldn't stop laughing especially at Brad Pitt (who I think is a great comedic actor, not so much for drama).


CIA Officer: We'll... interface with the FBI on this dead body.
CIA Superior: No, no. God no. We don't need those idiots fucking everything up. Burn the body. Get rid of it.

Chad Feldheimer: [on the phone] Osbourne Cox? I thought you might be worried... about the security... of your shit. 

Chad Feldheimer: Manolo, you DIDN'T find this.
Manolo: I found it on the floor there.
Chad Feldheimer: Yeah, I know. But...
Manolo: Right there on the floor there. Just lying there.


 7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

 
Solidified the return of both Val Kilmer and RDJ and proved just how sarcastic and dry they could be.

Harry: Still gay?
"Gay" Perry: Me? No. I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it.

Harry: Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times.

Harmony: Well, for starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had a hot meal.
Harry: Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck and then she skipped lunch.

6. Mallrats


Hands down the most quotable Kevin Smith film. I don't care if you like "Clerks" more, this one makes me laugh so hard.

Brodie: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega.

Jay: Come son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod! Snootchie-bootchies. Ehehehehe

Willam Black: Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat. 

5. Snatch


Solidifies Brad Pitt as a legendary comedic actor.

Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again? 

Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from, eh?

Mickey: Why the fuck do I want a caravan that's got no fucking wheels?

4. The Princess Bride


 The perfect blend of action, romance, fantasy, and lines that are just funny as hell.

Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Miracle Max: Get back, witch.
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more.

3. Empire Records


 I know it isn't a polished movie with the greatest acting or directing, but I can quote this one all day long!

A.J.: Mark, listening to this crap is guaranteed to make you sterile.
Mark: [under his breath] Maybe I want to be sterile.

Gina: Well "Sinead O'Rebellion." Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior. 

Warren: Why don't you go shove 'em up your ass?
Lucas: ...Because it would hurt a lot, Warren.

2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail


The grandfathers of modern comedy at their peak (and watch for the cat being swung against the wall in the background of any "town" scene).

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. 

King Arthur: Run away!

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.

 And drum roll please...

1. Blazing Saddles



If you've never seen it, you need to go find it right now. The most politically incorrect, but hilariously funny movie of all time. Oh and Madeline Kahn was a damn genius.


Lili Von Shtupp: A wed wose. How womantic.

Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

Bart: Hey, where the white women at?

Honorable Mentions

Clue, Mrs. Doubtfire, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Ferris Beuller's Day Off, The Thin Man, The Ladykillers, Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs...
























Sunday, April 7, 2013

Multi-Plex Conundrum or Why Do I Pay So Much For Concessions?

Friday at my viewing of "Evil Dead" I did something I haven't done in a while. I bought a Coke at the concession stand, not because I wanted to, but because I had a free popcorn coupon from CineMode (ask me if you don't know what that is). It didn't require me to buy the soda to get it, but I felt guilty for not buying something and just going up for my free popcorn. Then I realized the genius of offering the free popcorn. It gets people to buy concessions that normally wouldn't and probably gets people who would normally buy concessions to buy more than they normally would because of the "deal" they got.

Then I noticed all the people coming in with their own buckets and cups. Part of the deal where you pay a little extra for the bucket and cup then get discounted refills for the rest of this year. What does this do? Makes you get a soda and popcorn every time you come to the theater. It might even make you come to the theater a little more often to get your money's worth out of that offer. So aren't their margins reduced every time you come in for your "discount". Nope. The cup or bucket cost way more than the drink or popcorn you put into it and you've already paid the initial upcharge that covers that cost. Popcorn and soda are literally made for pennies, so maybe they "lose" 10 cents per refill after the first couple of times you use it (which after that, most people will forget they had them or forget to bring them), but that's still $2.90 in margin for each container that they might not have gotten before.
 

Don't they make a fortune from ticket sales?

Short answer is no. I'm gonna over simplify so you get the picture. See, the way the contracts between the studios, distributors, and theaters are structured so that about 95% of what is made in ticket sales the first week goes up the food chain and doesn't stay with the theater (this is through payment to actually show the movie and actual percentages of ticket sales that go to the studio/distributor). Then each week it gets reduced by approximately 5% (these numbers aren't exactly hard numbers and change per contract) so that the theater gets more. Now the first week the sheer volume of tickets usually grants the theater enough money to cover the cost of the overhead (like electricity and labor) for a particular movie, but the 2nd week usually ends up being a loss because of how drastically the volume of tickets drops on most movies. The 3rd week the theater will generally turn a bit of profit (that might offset week 2's loses) and by the 4th they might actually get to see a bottom-line profit (although it may not cover all the other overhead like rent and advertising).

Can't they do something else besides upping concessions?

They try. Corporate companies can rent out the theater for events (which rarely happens in most areas), you can have birthday parties at most venues, there's the "arcade", and companies pay for screen time before the movie starts. This is all well and good, but again, mostly pays for overhead. Plus, you can't guarantee any of these things other than the pre-movie advertising, so mostly those are just icing on the cake.


What about that 3-D Surcharge?

Despite what you think, the theater doesn't really profit from that. In fact, it may end up costing the theater more than a regular movie might. You see, you're not buying those glasses like you think you are. The studios pay for those. That's why you should recycle them at the end of the movie. You're gonna have to pay that surcharge no matter what. The surcharge goes towards paying off that expensive projector that they had to install to show 3-D and the maintenance on said projector. So why would the studios push 3-D if they're paying for those glasses? It is 2-fold: since the contracts are based on percentages and since the surcharge counts as part of the ticket they get a bigger chunk of money for each viewing. It also inflates the yearly gross numbers which makes business look better than it really is (which makes people head to the movies more because of mob mentality).

Let's break down "Avatar" a bit in a little bit of a thought exercise to show how 3-D can inflate box office numbers (numbers are from Box Office Mojo). Domestically "Avatar" brought in $760, 507,625 and the estimated number of tickets sold was 97,255,300. Let's say that only 1/2 of those tickets were in 3-D (I'd say the majority of people saw it in 3-D so this is probably a low estimate). So divide the tickets by 2 which gives us 48,627,650 3-D tickets with a low estimate surcharge of $3 (it's more like $5 in some areas). So 48,627,650 times $3 equals $145,882,950 added to the box office take. Even if you reduce the 3-D tickets to 1/3, you still end up with $97,255,300 added. And these are pretty low estimates. If half the ticket sales were 3-D, almost 20% of the box office was in the surcharge. Take that out and it doesn't seem quite as big of a juggernaut. With that, they can promote "Avatar" using the press without paying for it by talking how many records it is breaking, adding to ticket sales. Without all this, it might not have surpassed "The Dark Knight" from the year before and "Avatar" still isn't bigger than "Gone With the Wind" when adjusted for inflation

Sorry about all of those numbers. Hope you were able to follow.

So what does it all mean? Well, nothing is gonna change anytime soon. Costs of movie making continue to balloon and the studios need to recoup what they put in and theaters are a business so they need to make sure they add to their bottom line. That's just the world we live in.

Hopefully this gave you a little insight into how the business of a movie theater works and why concessions are the price they are. 

Friday, April 5, 2013

Freaky Friday - Evil Dead

I don't think I've ever reviewed a movie on here the day it came out partly because it's a rare occasion anymore when I see a movie on day one and I also like to ruminate for a few days before I come to a definite conclusion. Not so today.

Summary courtesy of IMDB:

"Five friends head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of a Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods. The evil presence possesses them until only one is left to fight for survival." 



Evil Dead (2013)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1288558/?ref_=sr_1

Technical (4.5) - After you see the first 10 minutes of this "remake" you'll realize this isn't "The Evil Dead" you remember, but that's a good thing. This one falls somewhere in between the "Psycho" and "Fright Night" remakes as far as what comes along from the source material. It isn't a shot for shot remake and it doesn't throw the whole thing in the garbage and begin again with just character names. In fact, none of the character names are the same, just there will be some similarities that are slightly skewed for a modern audience, but more on that in a minute. Let's talk about the visuals instead. As one of the friends I went to see this pointed out, when special effects are done in-camera and done well they have a much more visceral effect. Horror movies should only use cgi as a last resort because you can always tell and it removes you from the movie. I'm happy to report that this movie uses it so sparingly you might swear it has none at all (we argued a bit over one scene, I still say it was cgi), These actors must have gone through some hell and for a first time director, Fede Alvarez did a wonderful job drawing you in and ratcheting up the tension slowly but surely through the whole film. You can definitely see traces of the original and I even saw several elements of
"The Exorcist" which actually added greatly to the movie. I had to deduct a half point for editing out one scene they're using a bunch in the promos (that I really thought was eerie) and a few continuity errors I noticed. Nothing as glaring as in the original, but still.

Script/Dialogue (4.5) - Anyone heading into this expecting the dark comedy of "Evil Dead II" might be sorely disappointed (two people in front of us left during the movie, guys no less), but I wanted a flat out horror movie and got one. It wasn't necessarily scary per se, so the tag line in the poster above isn't quite accurate, but it was an enjoyable ride none-the-less. They started by changing the main plot device of why they are there from a fun weekend in the woods to helping a friend detox which adds more reality to the proceedings and instead of casting someone as Ash, they kind of chopped his character up and distributed him between a few of the characters. The Necronomicon plays a bigger part too as it not only begins the whole fiasco, it helps drive the whole movie along with several references back to it. The dialogue isn't particularly groundbreaking and a couple of the characters might as well have "deadite fodder" tattooed on their heads from the start since we get no real character development from them, but this is a damn horror movie, not "Gone With the Wind". I don't expect a whole lot there. It serves its purpose: to get us from one dead person to another. There's an odd plot point involving the dog (which always irritates me when they use a pet like that) that actually ends up tying in at the endgame which was a nice touch. There are also just a couple of kinda cheesy lines towards the end that I rolled my eyes at, hence the half point.

Acting (4) - Again, this is a horror movie, so I'm not expecting "King Lear" here. Jane Levy shines as Mia who they've brought to the cabin to kick her heroin habit. She's really good here. I didn't quite think she had it in her from watching "Subugatory" (which I love for being live action "Daria"), but this girl can scream with the best of them and has this wide-eyed look of fear that will give you chills. Easily the best of the bunch. Everyone else is passable. Lou Taylor Pucci is Eric who has the look of the "stoner", but ends up having the "geek" trait too from these types of movies. He stands out to me as the most wooden of the performances. Shiloh Fernandez plays Mia's brother David and to be honest stands out just as too much of a pretty boy for this kind of movie. He's not bad in the role, he just doesn't connect to you emotionally as he should for a couple of the scenes. Would have been a 3 except for how good Levy is. Elevates the whole movie.

Tilt (5) - I loved it. Didn't have much expectations going in and ended up blown away. It was derivative of the original while at the same time being very imaginative and pushing all sorts of buttons where you will squirm and suck in breath. I actually said "OUCH!" out loud several times. Like I said, not really scary in an "Exorcist" kind of way, but not the torture porn that "Saw" movies became either. Don't be surprised if  Alvarez (and maybe Levy too) gets asked to direct an "Exorcist" remake. I hope that never happens, though, it's an untouchable movie for me. Just be sure to stay past the credits if you're an original "Evil Dead" fan. I promise you'll love it. Otherwise, you'll probably be confused.

Total Score - (4.5)

Thursday, April 4, 2013

House Rules and Stuff (Repost)

***This is a repost of my first post, so if you've read it, go down to the recipe for today that follows***

Thank you for coming to my blog and for reading these house rules and what I'm going for here. Many of these recipes are altered versions of someone else's recipe (more often than not, an Alton Brown recipe) and I will give credit where it is due. Basically, I try them and adjust them to fit my schedule, altitude, and tastes. I really am not one to try making up my own and writing it down. In fact, many things here are guesstimates of how much I put in anyway.

 I do ask, however (and this is a MAJOR rule of mine with cooking) that you try the recipe verbatim the first time. Don't go futzing around with things until you know what works for you and what doesn't. I'm not saying don't experiment, because I really want you to (and I want to hear the results since that's my whole point here). The only thing I wouldn't mess too much with are the amounts in baked goods as these are all about chemistry. Also, I tend to go light on salt and heavy on pepper on dishes (AND garlic, but there's no such thing as too much garlic) so do those to taste unless sweating vegetables or salting pasta water where you need a good amount.

Ok, that's rule 1, the other rules:

2. TAKE YOUR TIME. Please do not rush anything by jacking up the temperature and trying to cut time. Either you are going to burn it or you aren't going to get the flavor that I want you to. I have already cut time where it doesn't drastically change flavor. As a for instance, I have taken a spaghetti bolognese recipe that took 6 hours to make, and have gotten it down to about 2 hours and you can hardly tell the difference.

3. Feel free to use "light", low-sodium, or fat free on things, but don't blame me if they don't turn out. Some things you'll have to not skimp on, but I'll try and tell you if that's the case. Fresh is best on any ingredient unless noted otherwise and much of the stuff here can be purchased at your local grocery store (Albertson's on Redd has all of this guaranteed since this is where I buy my goods).

4. Baking temps are concrete, but times are not. Ovens vary on how they heat and your altitude from sea level (and therefore the boiling temperature of water) changes that time. Use the times provided as a guide, but definitely start checking before hand and unless it is a custard, souffle, or meringue you should probably rotate your pan halfway through cooking for even cooking.

5. WEIGH YOUR DRY GOODS. Don't use cups of flour. Invest in a scale. They aren't expensive. If you want to know why, take 4 cups of packed flour into an air tight container like Tupperware, mark the top level of the flour, seal it and then shake it for about a minute and see how far off from that mark you are. Besides air, moisture can get in your flour and weigh it down.

6. Alcohol in many recipes is not optional. It really enhances flavor in certain instances and is just not replaceable in others (like Tiramisu). Alcohol NEVER cooks out completely, so if you are a recovering alcoholic or have kids that you don't want to have any alcohol, avoid the recipe or ask me how integral it is to use.

7. I have a tendency to use big and technical terms. I'm going to try not to or at least explain the technical term. If I don't, e-mail me or comment in the post and I will explain or maybe even do a post (and maybe in the future a video) of what I'm talking about.

8. Ask me. If you don't understand, if you want to know a substitute, if you want me to try a particular recipe...just ask.

9. As Alton says, don't buy uni-taskers (things that can only be used for one purpose). I'll post a must-have kitchen item and gadget list at some point.

10. Last, but not least, have fun! This post is a little dry, but I don't intend for it to be going forward. Anyone who knows me knows I can't stay serious for long. Just please be respectful of others in the comments section and keep it mostly on topic. Only 2 things shouldn't be discussed amongst friends: religion and politics. I won't talk about them, so you shouldn't either.

That's about it. I hope to update a few times a week and if it proves successful, daily.

Quick Recipe - Garlic Toast

I realized that I hadn't done a recipe in a while, so I thought I'd just do something quick that would be a good match-up for one I've already done, my Spaghetti Bolognese. Anyway, this is kinda more a technique than anything. It's hard to pinpoint amounts because everyone's tastes vary, so start with this and then change it up according to your tastes. Also, I like lots of bread (although my heartburn doesn't), so this is for 6 pieces.

Oh and for those looking for the recipes, I updated the tags on the oldest posts, so it should be easier to find them now...




Garlic Toast

Ingredients

3 "loaves" of crusty bread (like french, baguettes, or my favorite bolillos)
8 tbls softened butter (you can use spreads or margarine, but they're actually worse for you)
6-8 cloves of garlic (or a whole head if you want)
1 tbls olive oil
1/2 tsp granulated garlic
1/2 tsp granulated onion
1/2 tsp salt
4 grinds of pepper
1/2 c shredded parmesan
1/2 c shredded mozzerella

Hardware

1 small ramekin
1 square of aluminum foil (enough to seal the top of the ramekin or to make a pouch)
1 bread knife
1 small bowl
1 fork
1 baking sheet

Procedure



Pre-heat your oven to 375°. Now here is where you have to kind of pick and choose. If you want to do a whole head, without peeling any of the "paper" off first, trim the top of the head until most of the cloves have had their tips cut off (usually about an 1/2") or if you want to do it by cloves, peel them and trim off the "base". Now put your garlic in the ramekin (or make an aluminum foil pouch for them) and drizzle with the oil (and since the full head takes longer to cook and can dry out some before it is ready, it usually isn't a bad I idea to put some water in the ramekin as well). Be careful to not get much oil on the bottom and keep it on the garlic as much as possible (I got a little overzealous in the pic and paid for it by having some of the garlic "fry" on the bottom). Seal the ramekin (or foil pouch) and place on a rack in the middle of the oven. I don't usually put it on a baking sheet, but you can.

Start checking on them about 20 minutes in, because your oven can heat faster than you think. It usually is 30-40 minutes. What you're looking for is for the garlic to be soft, but not too brown. If it browns a little much, that's still ok, it's usable just harder to work with.


Once they're done, remove them from the ramekin to the bowl to cool. As soon as the garlic is cool enough to touch, if you made a whole head, just pick it up, turn it over and squeeze all that goodness out into the bowl. If you made cloves, mash them with the fork until they're a chunky paste. Add the butter, granulated garlic (YES, more garlic...it seems to round out the flavor some since the roasted garlic is more subtle and sweet), granulated onion, salt, and pepper. Then mix it up.


Slice your loaves in half. You can really use what bread you like, but I think bolillos give you the best texture and flavor. If you don't live anywhere with a Mexican bakery for bolillos, just make sure you use something sturdy and chewy that will not dissolve as the butter melts.


Put the halves on the baking sheet and slather them with the butter mixture. Put it on fairly thick. Now carefully sprinkle on the parmesan followed by the mozzarella so as to not get any on the baking sheet (it's a pain to clean off). Just evenly distribute, you don't need to cover them completely (you can, but you'll use more and I find it a little difficult to eat).

Place the pan in the oven and cook until the edges of the bread and the cheese brown slightly (it should look like the first pic). Usually takes about 15 minutes. Be sure to rotate your pan at about the 10 minute mark for more even browning. Let stand about 5 minutes before eating!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

VG Review - Bioshock: Infinite

I know I never did a full review of "Dishonored" or "Borderlands 2" which I will as soon as I finish the latter (it's a LONG game) and maybe next week I will do the "Dishonored" one. For now, though, you'll have to "settle" for "Bioshock: Infinite" which I just finished last night.


Bioshock: Infinite (360)

Let me preface this review by stating that if you don't know it already, I love "Bioshock" so my review may be a little skewed. The fact of the matter is, though, that I can often get myself so psyched for something that I get disappointed in the result no matter how good it is. This happens to me with movies more than anything, so I usually try and stay away from news articles and stuff that might pump me up too much. "Infinite" was a little hard to do that with since through their marketing blitz the last couple of months the game has been everywhere. That being said, I was beyond excited for this title and started to get disappointed about 30 minutes in. Then the world I thought I was entering did a 180 on me and all hell broke loose.

When you enter Columbia you'll see how wonderfully beautiful and detailed it is. I played on the 360 so it might not have been quite as detailed as others may have experienced, but I digress. The textures are wonderful, the movements (for the most part) are natural and fluid, smoke and flags billow in a realistic manner...you immediately feel immersed. It initially feels like you're in the total opposite world of Rapture and then, through the plot, you realize something else, but more on that later.

Gameplay is very similar to the original "Bioshock", but more fluid and polished. Plasmids are replaced by Vigors and honestly, they're more useful. I relied upon only 1 or 2 Plasmids through the course of "Bioshock" after trying each of them out. Unless an environmental need arose, I didn't veer from my mainstays. Here, I used them all pretty evenly. Some are more useful than others given a situation, but there's more balance and usefulness of each of them in battle. The Gene Tonics are replaced with Gear which are just different clothing items that give you bonuses. What's great about these is you can actually change them at any time since some of them are pretty specific to certain tasks. The biggest changes are the Skyhook that allows you to ride the cargo rails between floating buildings (Skylines) and Elizabeth your companion through most of the narrative.

The Skyline system is fun and really amazingly done. You whip around like you're on a hanging coaster shooting baddies and leaping off to do melee attacks to them. It's a blast. Where it comes most in handy is to leap out of a tight spot to allow your shield to recharge which you'll need to do often since there's no health/"mana" potions you carry with you. All the health and "salts" (this game's Eve) have to be found in the environment.

Elizabeth is just one of the great video game characters, yes, she's the damsel in distress, but she's just so damn helpful. Anyone worried about having an escort mission throughout the game can put your mind at ease. She finds cover so you don't have to worry about her safety and actually helps by tossing stuff at you mid-battle and creating "opportunities" that I won't spoil. Her biggest role though, is in the narrative, where "Infinite" shines more than any game in recent memory.

So what about this narrative? Well, I don't want to give anything away, but there is social commentary on race, politics, and religion that pulls absolutely no punches. Seriously. That 180 that I was speaking of will shock you in it's frankness on race relations at the time. That's not what it's all about though. Like I said before, you realize that this idyllic world is rotting underneath, just like Rapture, just not as overt (at first). What is striking, though, is the relationship between Booker (you) and Elizabeth and how these characters change, come to terms with what is thrown at them, and figure out all the mysteries in Columbia. The ending will shock, amaze, and make you want to start the game over again immediately much like when "Donnie Darko" ended you wanted to start it again because of the questions swirling in your head. It is one of those stories that will be discussed and dissected over and over because it purposefully doesn't give you straight answers on many things. Like any work of art (that's right, art), it wants you to interpret it how you see it to invite controversy and discussion.

This game more than most shows what an art form gaming can be. Sure there's crap games just like there are crap paintings and sculptures, but then along comes a Mona Lisa or Starry Night that shows just how wonderful art can be. This is that type of game. Sure there are imperfections like glitches where I couldn't pick up a coin here or there and I would've like to have seen more of certain "Heavy Hitters" (mini-bosses like Big Daddies, but different), but that isn't the point of this experience. The narrative is.

Honestly, I could talk about this game for a long time. I think I will do a series on it a few months from now and give people time to play it. That way I can explore themes, connections and parallels to "Bioshock", and the ending in a detailed and spoiler filled manner. So go play it. Even if you aren't a first-person shooter fan, it's one of the greatest gaming experiences I've ever had, if not the greatest.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Top 10 Tuesday - Favorite Directors

Today's post will probably cause some controversy, especially with some of the top names in the business being left out (i.e. Michael Mann, Stanley Kubrick, Robert Altman, David Fincher, Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, Danny Boyle, Mel Brooks (these last two almost made this list), and Clint Eastwood). It isn't that these guys aren't great directors. They are. What gets you on this list, though, is the "I HAVE to see it!" mentality. All of the above directors have made fine films that are some of the best of their respective genres, but have also made movies that just weren't my cup of tea. Granted, a few of the below list are in that category as well, but they also have made at least one of my top movies of all time, defined a genre, and/or defined film-making itself for generations. So let's hear your arguments in the comments if you don't agree.

Oh, and I decided to use their pictures instead of their works because it is sad that many people don't know who makes their favorite movies. These are also in order from least to most favorite.

On with the show:




10. Sam Raimi (The Gift, The Evil Dead, A Simple Plan)

I know, I know, a week ago I was singing his praises, and I still do, however when you look at the auteurs above him on this list, you kinda see why. In all honesty, with the group that was left out, he's pretty lucky to be in this company at all with "Spider-Man 3" under his belt lol. Sure, I liked the first two Spider-Man movies, but I like his smaller movies (like the ones listed by his name) much, much better. Mr. Raimi suffers from a common problem among small independent film-makers who suddenly have a big budget to work with, they struggle to be innovative and creative when not under budgetary constraints. He seems to have gotten over that with "Oz", but there are some odd things in that too. Still, this is the man who created the Deadites and (Spoiler Alert) didn't shy away from the task of killing hs main character in "Drag Me To Hell".



9. Alfred Hitchcock (Suspicion, To Catch a Thief, Dial M for Murder)

Anyone who doesn't have this man in his top 10 is a complete idiot. This man changed film forever and is still referenced by most people in the film industry as one of their main inspirations. Why doesn't he rank higher on the list then? For every "Suspicion" there is a "Rope", for every "Dial M for Murder" there is "The Wrong Man". Which in its own right is a feather in his cap; the man wasn't afraid to experiment and fought long and hard with the studios to get his movies made. He wouldn't back down from his vision which is what tempered many of his contemporaries and led to many of the men above him to do their amazing work. Watch "Suspicion" and "Dial M for Murder" and you'll understand the moniker "Master of Suspense". 




8. Martin Scorsese (Goodfellas, Casino, Shutter Island)

Anyone who knows me personally might question why this man is so low on my list. "Goodfellas" may be my favorite movie of all time (and by all rights should have won him the Academy Award) and I LOVE most of his work, but, alas, he's made a few blah movies over the years and I can't say that I rush out to see a Scorsese film just because it is Scorsese. That isn't to say that the movies aren't well made, because they are. The choice of subjects ("Hugo") is what often dissuades me or that he sometimes miscasts as well ("Gangs of New York"-Cameron Diaz as an Irish prostitute...really Marty? Really?). There's no denying that the man is possibly the most talented filmmaker in Hollywood, I think sometimes he just gets wrapped up in an idea and won't let go when he should.

Geez, most of these have been kinda negative so far, I just feel the need to persuade you as to why these low 3 are that way. The next ones will be positive. Promise.



7. Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie, A Very Long Engagement, Alien: Resurrection)

Hands down the least known on this list. The bright and colorful "Amelie" which centered around the sublime Audrey Tautou was his breakthrough into the mainstream (for a foreign film anyway), but his previous works like "The City of Lost Children" and "Delicatessen" are art house favorites. I love all his works since they kind of twist and turn around under you, look beautiful doing it, and have this wry sense of humor and style that is very much his own. He breathed new life into the "Alien" franchise after the disastrous "Aliens 3" by doing something a little more quirky and "low-budget" with it, much like the first "Alien". If you've never seen any of his stuff, you should seek it out.

 

6. Guy Ritchie (Lock, Stock, & 2 Smoking Barrels, Snatch, Sherlock Holmes)

The man who made Jason Statham a star! LOL. Seriously, other than the better-than-everyone-said-it-is "Swept Away" (which was made to make his wife happy, I'm sure and she probably wouldn't let him do it the way he wanted), Ritchie makes a quick, witty, and stylish film. Say all you want about how "Sherlock Holmes" wouldn't be as witty without RDJ, and I say look at the rest of the man's work and say it again with a straight face. I quote "Snatch" all the time ("5 minutes, Turkish"!) because of the sharp writing. The thing that makes him stand out is that you KNOW you're watching a Guy Ritchie film. Even if I'd never seen it before and you didn't tell me, I'd know (which can be said for everyone from 7 and on, really). He spawned countless imitators that just couldn't get it right.

 

5. Guillermo del Toro (The Devil's Backbone, Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy)

I've followed del Toro since "The Devil's Backbone" and then went back in his catalog and watched "Cronos" ("Mimic" actually is pretty good too). No matter how big he's getting in Hollywood, he still manages to put out a smaller foreign language film from time to time (and dammit he deserved an Oscar for "Pan's Labyrinth). You can see how much he is influenced by Lovecraft and how he gets swept up in the details, but always manages to put out some of the most creative films out there. Even when he is using someone else's work as a basis ("Hellboy" or "Blade II") he still manages to make it all his own. I just hope he doesn't spread himself too thin. He writes a book series, has a video game in the works, 3 big screen movies coming soon, a tv movie and series in the pipeline, and is producing several movies as well...geesh.


4. Ridley Scott (Alien, Gladiator, Blade Runner)

Ok, here might be a point of contention for some because this man made "A Good Year", "Black Rain", "Hannibal", and "Thelma & Louise" (which aren't bad movies at all). Those may be true, but he also made "Blade Runner", "Alien", "Legend", "Gladiator", "American Gangster", "Black Hawk Down", "Prometheus", "Kingdom of Heaven", etc. Some of the best movies of the last almost 35 years were helmed by this man. A visionary with little equal, he has a vision and sticks to it. Here's a man that will get me to buy a ticket even if the subject doesn't interest me much. I just know I'm in for a visual feast. He defined (and continues to define) different genres for generations of filmmakers with ease. And on a side note, "Robin Hood" was WAY better than anyone gives it credit for.



3. Joel & Ethan Coen (Fargo, O Brother Where Art Thou, No Country For Old Men)

You can't have one without the other. I have every movie these guys have made (have you ever even heard of "The Man Who Wasn't There?", I thought so), even the one (notice I said one) in their almost 30 year, 15 movie careers (ask me what it is if you want to know, it probably won't be the one you think. These guys do dark, twisted humor like no one else. They also can do serious drama with such pacing and grace. No one makes filmmaking look so effortless especially when two people are doing all the writing, directing, and producing. They've done the entire thing on their terms with relatively low budgets for what they're making ("True Grit" was made for a paltry $38 Million).



2. Christopher Nolan (Insomnia, The Dark Knight, Prestige)

"In Nolan we trust" has been a mantra of late. You can see why when you look at some of his casting choices in the last few movies: Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and recently Anne Hathaway. When they were announced there was a collective "WHAAAAA!?!" and then we saw the result. The man sees something in people we've never seen before. THAT is the definition of a visionary. I love that he still does as much as possible in the old fashioned way. Very little CGI and with film. Here's also a man that doesn't have the same issue as Raimi, he uses his bigger budgets to be as inventive as possible. Who doesn't remember the truck flipping in "The Dark Knight" or the weightless fight scene in "Inception", sure they weren't necessarily a brand new technique, but he did them memorably which cannot be said for most movies these days.



1. Quentin Tarantino (Jackie Brown, Inglorious Basterds, Django)

Honestly, Tarantino was almost #2. I couldn't decide. Here's the thing though. None of these directors has grown like this man. Sure his basic stories are rooted in his adolescence: blaxploitation, Shaw Brother's films, and cheesy spaghetti westerns. He's taken them and elevated them to an art form unto themselves. Not only that, but rather than just make a shocking movie with the tightest dialogue ever seen, he's adding biting social commentary to the mix. Every movie takes place in a different world and a different time, but still feels very much like Tarantino's imagination. That's a feat unto itself. I can't wait for him to do a space movie. THAT should be interesting.

Before I go, there are a couple of honorable mentions that just haven't done enough in their careers yet and may as of yet creep into this list:

Rob Zombie - when he does original work, it's amazing--I hope "The Lord's of Salem" brings him back

Brad Bird - Having only done cartoons (although "Incredibles" and "Ratatouille" are some of my favorites of all time) until recently, "MI:Ghost Protocol" was such a great thrill-ride and return to form for the series that he's definitely one to watch.

Ben Affleck -  Three movies. All superb. He's turning into a better director than an actor (among a long line of them). If #4 is as good as his first 3, he'll supplant someone on this list.