Top 10 Tuesday - Favorite Comedies

This list was way harder than I originally thought. It started out with 23 movies (would have been more if I'd included animated to begin with), so I had to start imposing rules. First, it had to be a flat-out comedy that couldn't be labeled as anything else (which left out "A Christmas Story", "Evil Dead 2", and the Ocean's movies...I will admit a couple of these still blur the line). Second, it had to be a movie I quote fairly often (which dropped out "Beetlejuice", "It's Complicated", and "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"). After that I just had to do the hard process of elimination so that only 10 were left. I'll list a few of the movies that didn't make it at the end as honorable mentions.

This time I'm not going to write a big thing of why each one is funny. Funny is a subjective thing. How else do you explain 3 "Hangover" movies? They aren't that funny. Especially when compared to the ones on this list. I decided I will stick to a sentence of why I love it and then 3 of my favorite quotes.

Hit it!

10. His Girl Friday

This film holds the record for most words per minute in a movie (at 240) and every one of those minutes is intelligent and witty beyond belief.

Hildy Johnson: [speaking of her fiance] He treats me like a woman.
Walter Burns: Oh he does, does he? Mm-hm... how did I treat you? Like a water buffalo?

Bruce Baldwin: [Concerning Walter] I like him; he's got a lot of charm.
Hildy Johnson: Well he comes by it naturally his grandfather was a snake.

Hildy Johnson: Walter, you're wonderful, in a loathsome sort of way.

9. So I Married An Axe Murderer

Mike Meyers hits on all cylinders in this under appreciated gem that I think is way better than his "Austin Powers" movies (which I like also btw).

Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.


John Johnson: My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me Vicki.

Charlie Mackenzie: Come, let us dance like children of the night!

8. Burn After Reading

I love Coen Brothers movies and they're all hilarious (except for a couple of really serious ones), but I couldn't stop laughing especially at Brad Pitt (who I think is a great comedic actor, not so much for drama).


CIA Officer: We'll... interface with the FBI on this dead body.
CIA Superior: No, no. God no. We don't need those idiots fucking everything up. Burn the body. Get rid of it.

Chad Feldheimer: [on the phone] Osbourne Cox? I thought you might be worried... about the security... of your shit. 

Chad Feldheimer: Manolo, you DIDN'T find this.
Manolo: I found it on the floor there.
Chad Feldheimer: Yeah, I know. But...
Manolo: Right there on the floor there. Just lying there.


 7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

 
Solidified the return of both Val Kilmer and RDJ and proved just how sarcastic and dry they could be.

Harry: Still gay?
"Gay" Perry: Me? No. I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it.

Harry: Don't worry, I saw Lord of the Rings. I'm not going to end this 17 times.

Harmony: Well, for starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had a hot meal.
Harry: Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck and then she skipped lunch.

6. Mallrats

Hands down the most quotable Kevin Smith film. I don't care if you like "Clerks" more, this one makes me laugh so hard.

Brodie: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega.

Jay: Come son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod! Snootchie-bootchies. Ehehehehe

Willam Black: Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat. 

5. Snatch

Solidifies Brad Pitt as a legendary comedic actor.

Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again? 

Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from, eh?

Mickey: Why the fuck do I want a caravan that's got no fucking wheels?

4. The Princess Bride

 The perfect blend of action, romance, fantasy, and lines that are just funny as hell.

Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Miracle Max: Get back, witch.
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that any more.

3. Empire Records

 I know it isn't a polished movie with the greatest acting or directing, but I can quote this one all day long!

A.J.: Mark, listening to this crap is guaranteed to make you sterile.
Mark: [under his breath] Maybe I want to be sterile.

Gina: Well "Sinead O'Rebellion." Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior. 

Warren: Why don't you go shove 'em up your ass?
Lucas: ...Because it would hurt a lot, Warren.

2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The grandfathers of modern comedy at their peak (and watch for the cat being swung against the wall in the background of any "town" scene).

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. 

King Arthur: Run away!

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.

 And drum roll please...

1. Blazing Saddles

If you've never seen it, you need to go find it right now. The most politically incorrect, but hilariously funny movie of all time. Oh and Madeline Kahn was a damn genius.


Lili Von Shtupp: A wed wose. How womantic.

Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

Bart: Hey, where the white women at?

Honorable Mentions

Clue, Mrs. Doubtfire, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Ferris Beuller's Day Off, The Thin Man, The Ladykillers, Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs...